The good habit is to”beat” to come out
“Kid not how should the delicious rice, sleeping do?”"The kid sticks to a person too much how do?”"How to exactly should develop the kid’s good habit?”"Much and greatly start doing does he sign rules?I ain’t obedient to can beat?”……After kid is born, various breeding problems will arrive in close succession.The pedagogy Doctor, Wang Tao ,Enhance safe consciousness of Harvard University teaches experience to the parent:
Kid one birth will sign rules
“Loving a kid is difficult and still sign rules for kid more difficult?”Believing all parents will say” signs rules more difficult!”Why sign rules more difficult?Because the parents want to sign rules for they first.
Love and rules should be together, isn’t disjunctive, much the time that the parents are usually loving had no rules, signed rules have no love.Some parents think that the kid returns it’s small, waited him greatly and then will slowly be getting more reasonable, in fact, rules have to from birth start signing, the price is more and late more big.The real love should be the love that embodies rules, the real rules should be the rules that takes to have a love.Real love and rules need to have parents’ view of exactitude.
Each rules are an important test to all of parents while signing for the first time.
Many 1 year old Johns and father mothers divides a bed to sleep the first day evening, super babysitter(abroad, the super babysitter once was subjected to the professional training of much nursing) instruction mother:put John to the small bed of his cubicle, then side lead the body sits on the bedside to lower the head to read aloud a story book for John,consciousness the half that shows John mother side face, make mother not have vision exchanges with it.Finish reading a story, the mother moves room doorway slowly and at 1.1:00 again and finally comes out to close a door.Can be a mother to finish reading when the story hadn’t moved footstep little John realized not in the right son and started weeping aloud, and the rounding of bed column up turned over to more come out and jumped on the ground since the childhood.Under the super babysitter’s instruction, the mother stays calm and collecteds the ground chase again small
John puts into a small bed and re- sits on the bedside to read a story, can little John weep aloud again and again turn over to more come out, so again and again three times.The little John the hoarse dint Jie ground weeps aloud to greatly make, John’s mother insisted not to live at this time and lowered the head to start wiping off tears.The super babysitter have to start out and enter a house to be alongside of with mother to sit on the bedside and shut to fix attention on to sit like this quietly, little John cried to in a short while lie down and immediately fall asleep again ……
There is the first-time rules, connect down to do so much.Many parents gives up because the persistence wasn’t when the first time signs rules, or loudly reprimands angrily to a kid because the kid cans not do it, this is all count for little.The kid treated to make trouble without a cause, the tone has to be moderate, the attitude has to be firm.
Can the kid beat after growing up?Certainly.Wang Tao thinks that this is the effective punishment meanses, is also make the kid undertake to make a mistake result of a kind of method.We discover that the kid, who have, does amiss after the event to recognize one wrong usually shine on to make next time, be because don’t make him undertake result in time toRequest student.Beat a kid and wait a kid to have certainly basic language exchanges ability(at least should in the 2-year-old half) after.
The kid can beat, but not the ability is blind dozen and wild blow, beat a kid and speak an art.
The premise that beats a kid can not take exasperation.Otherwise the kid is beaten what feeling arrive first is you of exasperation, he at this time want Yao is an exasperation, the Yao fears, while the kid has no study ability in the extreme emotion.The parents want the academic association”in a soft voice and lightly annoy to say strong words”.
Beating the kid can not directly and by hand need to use Zhang(the domestic discipline said by ancient times).Like this do at 3:00 advantage, the first, is give oneself time calm down;The second, explain rules at gives on, idea namely”is not that I want to beat you, but the rules wants to punish you”;The third, the creation shakes Zhe dint.Need phonetic exchanges before beating a kid.The exchanges is a loving passage, is the means that signs rules, use a kid to comprehend according to the kid’s characteristics and the way for accepting carry on exchanges.
Beat a kid to need love, the parents want to learn a love first a kid.
Once a parent after listenning to Doctor Wang’s method wented home and then dided a “domestic discipline” hanged on the door, and pointed at “domestic discipline” to methodically say:”later if you weren’t well-behaved, will use this’domestic discipline’punish you, isn’t that I wanted to punish you, is a rules to want to punish you.”Can who know the second day, “domestic discipline” disappeared to copy, Doctor Wang told this parent and signed “domestic discipline” for kid and paid attention to atmosphere, can not literally say to settle a dispute, should make the kid realize the dignity of “domestic discipline”.
The Mr. Liu 9-year-old son usually asks for is living not, a son makes mistake again, he then queries a son how do, who know a son Du Rang 1:”beat Bai!”Listenned to this words, Mr. Liu ate a surprised, he enters a house to deliberate very long, then calls to son, say:” father loves you, but father loves you to can not take rules away, either, you make a mistake you have a responsibility, father also has a responsibility, you made a mistake before, was all father to beat you, you did amiss to settle a dispute again today, I also have a responsibility, because I am an educational performance, I punish today!”Hence this father beats a kid at ordinary times much heavy, beat oneself this time much heavy.The son sees a form, “plop”1 kneels to pour in the ground and cries to say:”father, is that I Be getting wronger, please beat me, don’t beat oneself.”After the event, the son was completelylike to completely become a person, afterwards become the good student of a good both in character and scholarship.
Doctor Wang reminded, wanting to use feeling to the kid never was used tricks, otherwise the kid will see you deeply and deeply of, he will also use tricks to you hereafter.
The heart is tamed nature will do a correct choice
One in the United States is Monty western cowboy, the father who saw him since the childhood tames a horse.A mustang just started making people is on saddle of set for it, if wanted to tame it, needed 21 days, and would be hanged up to tame every day, Monty cant not bear to see this kind of ruthlessnessly tame method horse, want to try a kind of more moderate way to tame mustang.
The mustang likes to live together, Monty rides a horse with a few cowboys and tries to slowly lead a mustang to open when a group of mustangs dash about and leaves big troops, this mustang and big troops after walking lose run without intermission and forward, and then Monty have been following behind its or so, ran on the boundless big steppe for a days and one nights like this, the speed of the mustang gradually declined down, Monty tries to slowly approach it, whenever this horse has aggressive performance to the Monty’s approaching, Monty meeting’s giving it food is reward, and often clap its head, petting once its body, slowly, Monty and his colleague tries to wear saddle for it, 1.1:00, slightly, the saddle put on, on the muzzle set, but this a horse still a brush-off the other people ride the top and several times try, a few conciliations after, the cowboy finally rides horseback, Monty succeeded.
Monty says that according to the will of horse, with it can the way accepting communicate with it and give reward to its progress in time, its heart is tamed, it will according to its own heart, not Be forced to outside of the power does a correct choice.Afterwards, Monty useds for this method to educate a kid a body up, also often meet with a strange effect.
Wang Tao thinks that the principle is the first.There is correct principle, will there is correct method.As a parent, first essentials comprehension, understand kid’s demand, then use the method of fitting reward and punishment to slowly train a kid good habit.